smaller and smaller

when i was 200 pounds
i tried to make myself as small
as when i was 3/4 of that
i wanted to fold myself withing my folds
so i could be 75% of myself
and i still wanted to keep folding
even when i was 75% of that self

i just wanted to be as tiny as the women on tv
make myself like what i see
monica, rachel, ally
i emptied myself to make sticks of my arms
and legs
just like them

it feels as if it doesn’t matter
how much of myself i lose
i will never be small enough
until i disappear


Bartender please…

They say

“Write what you know.”

And when I do…

The words drip from my lips like simple syrup
sticky and sweet

to mix with the flavor of feelings
sweeten the bitters
sweeten the sour mix
cut the burn and make the harsh a haunting in the background

Mix me the poems that I know.


My Poetry

My poems are the most beautiful parts of me
My words are the most exquisite thing about me
My rhymes and rhythms
are the most interesting forms I’ve carried and born

Without them I am but an empty shell
Waiting to be filled
With love and beauty and poetry.

Rolling on Poetry

like crack and speed and heroin
all rolled into one
it’s the thing that’s killing me
and keeping me alive
without it I would not survive
without poems for my words
there’d be no homes for my heart
I have to lose myself within the art
of creating lines
that glisten in my ears
like diamonds, gold and tears
I have to breathe the words to breathe
let them carry me through this high
before they leave me feeling dry
with nothing more to give
a thing made empty
nothing else as pretty
as the words.

he got his poems from Me

he got his poetry from Me

he got his phrases
about goddesses
from the ghosts of my body
haunting his dreams
before it was a poltergeist

words born and died
between my thighs

I put those words in his mouth
but my hands pulled them out

through his teeth.

both body and mind
paid the price
for what he tried to find
and amygdala and arms
for cliché lines
still Bear the scars
from his canines

online dating

can you help me cum
hey sexy
hey there gorgeous
you are so beautiful
your smile is hot
i bet you dirty
i bet you like it rough
can i get your digits mama
can you help me cum

Was there anything else you wanted?
Or just the parts of me
I’ve finally learned to keep for myself?